I am Ismeralda

I part my lips

and kisses

float out

like Bubbles

in holograms.

Ride your

Mighty Dragonfly

into misty

waters

and keep

me safe

from the yellow spider

hiding in the

spray of creamy

Henna flowers.

Matters of intimacy and passion

At our larger women’s gatherings, we rarely talk about sex and hardly ever about our intimate relations with our husbands. At our last gathering however, one woman started the subject by discussing her recent findings of the marital relations between Lebanese women married to Kuwaiti men. This information was gleaned through her new friendships with Lebanese women and the ensuing discussion she had with them on why Kuwaitis preferred them.  She said: “My dear, the Lebanese wife never says no. She is always ready to have sex and will drop everything. As long as the thing between his legs is satisfied, he will never complain about his clothes, his food, or anything else. He will treat his wife like a queen. She is ready to seduce him and make love to him and through this she controls her husband’s moods and turns him into a lamb.”

The Lebanese women practiced the art of seduction not only in their manner but through the outfits they wore and the entertaining dances and poses they displayed for their husbands.

Here there was much laughter from the women in the circle. A couple of women then proceeded to discuss how they dreaded Thursdays and Fridays which were the prescribed night for sex, because of the weekend. One woman said, I’m so happy when I have my period on the weekend. I get the night off. The women dreaded the ghusl and washing up after sex which seemed tedious.

Some women also laughed and said that marital relations were now almost filial, as husband and wife were almost like brother and sister they had been together so long.

At that,someone told the story of a woman who insisted on having sex every single night with her husband whether he felt like it or not. She would massage his penis and his balls until he became aroused. The women in the group laughed and made comments about the effort that would involve.

One woman stood listening on her way to perform prayers and said that she did not feel comfortable seducing her husband in that way. It would feel degrading.

I thought about the women in the room and tried to imagine them in passionate abandon. Intimacy and public display of affection is rarely displayed in public even amongst family so it was hard to imagine the couples together easily.

No doubt we are all curious about other people’s sex lives and intimate relations with their partners. Women don’t like to boast or talk about their husband’s prowess in bed for fear of the Evil Eye or bad vibes so more often than not you will hear a woman put down her husband. She would rather sound disgruntled than satisfied and happy to avoid being the object of envy.

One thing the Lebanese woman suggested to the Kuwaiti woman was preparing a foot bath to massage her husband’s feet when he came home. This idea was found to be repulsive to most of the women at the gathering, and most considered it degrading.

Here I think is the crux of the matter.  Passion and ardor have nothing to do with pride and barriers. To love, there must be mutual trust and a willingness to share pleasure to the highest degree. If a woman is afraid of losing respect, and this is all too common amongst us, there will always be something holding her back from enjoying lovemaking to the fullest with her partner in life and in passion.

I will drive starting June 17

A new campaign in Saudi Arabia urging women to start driving by June 17th

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