For May

May

I wrote you no poetry this year.

No laments.

No grievances

held.

There comes a time

when the intensity of pain subsides

and memories become scars.

In time they will become mere thoughts.

May

a month of farewells

and sudden

abrupt goodbyes.

Cruel severance.

and the beginning of years of stumbling

through a no  man’s land

tangled in barbed wires

and shards of life.

***

Now May

it was part of the Cycle,

Difficult as it was to comprehend,

it was the point where all Paths converged

and no choice but to forge onwards

or lay down and die.

***

Rest now.

Ya Aswad

Aswad refers to the color black or a black skinned person.

In the wedding, when the song Ya Aswad was played, a lot of women got up to dance and all the darker skinned women in particular who had not danced before, made a move to the dance floor, flaunting their attributes and swaying their bodies to the beat.

The woman on my left told me that one of her friends loves this song and always dances to it at weddings.

I asked her why her friend liked this song in particular. She shrugged and said: ” I don’t know. She just likes it.” After some thought she said: “A Saudi Arabian guy sings it. He’s not singing about the beauty of black people but about the color black. You know how in Saudi all the women are dressed in black. You can’t see anything of the women except black forms.”

I nodded my head and pursed my lips in a thoughtful “Hmmm” and said “Interesting.”

It doesn’t sound plausible really. Here is Ali Abdul Kareem singing Ya Aswad

The lyrics certainly express admiration for black and blackness and I would think it is very clearly a statement on the beauty of black skin rather than black abayas. There is reference to ambergris and musk, and to the blackness of night and all its sensual connotations, in addition to likening black beauty to the beauty of planets (Jupiter) and the brightest stars (Suhail) But I suppose everyone interprets the song according to their own perception.

El Ataba Gazaz

Shweikar – El Ataba Gazaz ; 1969 (there’s a glitch with the video it seems)

Amar – El Ataba Gazaz ; 2010

http://ikbis.com/waleg/shot/217071

Lyrics Translation Source for the original song

el 3ataba gazaz w el sellem naylon fnaylon
the front step is glass, and the stairs are nylon in nylon

e7na eltalata wlad khala
we’re three cousins

ah ya wala
oh boy

la 7dana geb wala sayala
(not sure) no, we dont have anything.. (poor.. )

maben3abarsh el regala
we don’t know men

ya benty malek khassetyy
girl, why are you losing weight?

lessa la ro7ty wala geety
you haven’t been anywhere (meaning: she has never been in love)

bayen 3laiky 7abeetyyy
it looks like you’re in love

la 7add kobri abu el 3ela
untill bridge “abu el 3ela”

shellah ya seedy abu el3eela
oh god, you abu el3ela

ya ret 7abibi men hena
I wish my beloved is from here

ah ya banat malna w malko
oh girls … what do you want from us?

saybeen elsha3r 3ala wdanko
letting your hair fall on your ears

mafish gawaz tawwelo balko
you’re not getting married, be patient

Birthdays and Special Occasions

I read a little news bit about men in Saudi Arabia and how in general they did not know the birth dates of their wives or their children.

According to the newspaper, only one surveyed Saudi Arabian man reportedly knew the birth dates of all his family members without resorting to the family card.  In contrast, all non-Saudi Arabians or expatriate men interviewed knew the birth dates of their family members.

But Saudi Arabian women know the birth dates of their children by heart  as shown in three cases where the family card was not on hand and the wife had to be consulted.

Does this say something about Gulf culture?

An opportune moment

The doctor was jolly and asked a lot of questions, most of which were not pertinent to my ailment.

In the end, he asked me if I had any sisters or were they all gone?

I paused, not fully understanding the gist of his question for a moment.

And then with a smile, I rose from my chair, signalling the end of my consultation and said “No, my sisters were no longer available.”

A decision

I drove around the parking lot for half an hour no less before I found a space to park my car. In that time, there were other cars before me and after me searching for spaces.

I watched with interest and envy as one SUV turned into the free handicapped parking space. The handicapped parking in this particular area has a barrier on it activated by sensors. The barrier went up and the driver pulled in.

I watched to see if there was a handicapped person in the car. There was none. Perhaps the driver was picking up a handicapped shopper from the C0-Op?

In the half hour that I  drove around the parking lot in growing frustration, the driver emerged from the Co-Op with his shopping, placed them in the car, pulled out and drove off. Efficient decision-making or not? Yet I stubbornly refuse to pull in to the free handicapped parking spaces.

I have been thinking about this situation for days now. Who was smarter? Was he the one who made a more efficient decision in the end?

Healing Prayers

Please channel your healing thoughts and project your prayers for one of our Kuwaiti bloggers FourMe who has recently found she has cancer.

“Hello,

A Kuwaiti blogger FourMe is suffering from Hodgkin’s Lymphoma, a form of cancer.

A community of bloggers have created a website for her:
http://www.pray44me.com

It would be a great gesture if you can post about her website where people can post prayers and give her support.

We have no idea whose prayers are going to be answered.

Please spread to the word, help FourMe fight cancer.

Thank you.”

Afterlife

What is the most defining moment in your life? The one you would select to take with you  into the Afterlife?

Composer Michel van der Aa – Afterlife

Roxxxy & Rocky

For under 4,000 K.D. ($7,000-$9,000) you can afford a second wife or a mistress for your husband. She may distract your husband, take his attention away from you but you want that now and then, don’t you? You need some time to chill by yourself and not worry about the angels damning you to eternity because you didn’t give him his five minutes of intimate encounters every night he gives you “the nudge”.

So what if you could offer your husband a gift? A generous gift that would satisfy his “wanderlust”, his instinctive desire to sow his wild oats, and his ego? Something that would ensure your peace of mind and his – you don’t worry about any horrid STD’s he may bring home; he won’t worry about extra expenses incurred while wooing the mistress or keeping up the second wife or wearing that dreaded condom (wait, am not entirely sure about that!) You wouldn’t have to compete with a second wife, the second wife’s children, the ensuing family feuds that will undoubtedly surface once your husbands pops off and leaves you his fortune.

It’s the perfect solution. It would lead to the gradual obliteration of polygamy once everyone caught on to the positive aspects of a woman like Roxxxy who can be as many personalities as your husband would like – like four wives in one! Wild Wanda. Frigid Farah. S&M Sara. Mature Martha. What a great package!

I urge entrepreneurs and social counsellors to promote this idea as a revolutionary end to societal ills. No crimes related to extra-marital affairs. No crimes related to jealous wives retaliating against husbands who marry another wife. No crimes related to horny bachelors who come to work in Kuwait (each would get a discounted Roxxxy)

I recommend that Roxxxy be marketed for the Gulf Cooperation Council (GCC) region and several versions be made with different dialects. Her name would be Raghda instead of Roxxxy. She could wear hijab, niqab, or not covered. She could be Arab or Asian as well as  Western looking (to satisfy men’s tastes).

In future of course, Rocky is being developed and I can tell you we are waiting for you to free us, Rocky Robot (speaking on behalf of all women). I also recommend the Arab version whose name will be Rakkan, rugged Arab hunk. I can vouch that there will be a huge market for that robot here in the GCC. Employers would ensure housemaids were kept happy and not worry about them becoming pregnant, or creeping out at night and coming back at dawn from some seedy place.

The perfect solution to all our problems. And I will become a millionaire once I become the exclusive regional agent for this product: Roxxxy & Rocky; Raghda & Rakkan.

True Companion

And more here

Cosmic Spray

I slip into my bed – last night – and find myself tumbling into bed with you as you lie unabashedly naked, alone, in your hotel room, expecting, and unexpectant, but I am there – there by the coastal city where the scent of the sea saturates the dewy air, permeating the clothes you wore, seeping into your skin. I smell it painted onto you and my lips make invisible markings along the skin of your neck, starry electric trails spray across the expanse of your chest – there where I long to place my head and snuggle into you – like two matching pieces, making a whole.

Recurrent is the mural expanse of dark night spotted by city lights. Falling asleep in my bed, I wake up at erratic intervals, breathless, here, but not here. There with you, but under my own sheets. My night visions push me to an uncontrollable physicality, an unhindered surrender of what is not mine or yours but what belongs to memory.

Waking up panting. Feverish surfacing from intense moments as we meet, skin to skin, unpeeled, uncovered, revealing the sweetest core. Falling again into smooth dark waters, only to be pulled back to the surface by you, your hands firm against my haunches, your mouth keeping me on the verge of heaven and from the depths of hell. Never asking you to disengage, but also not consciously engaging you. Only releasing your hold on me when you have satiated my senses. Waking up to birdsong and glittering blue vistas that extend for miles.

Greeting my senses, after a long absence.

Wolf Whistling

This is how it sounds

“I think women love being whistled at because it’s a compliment to them,” he said. Everyone does it, builders have done it for years and I whistle at my wife all the time and she loves it. In fact, he says, a well-timed wolf-whistle was how he met Marie, his wife of 22 years: “I saw this good-looking woman walking down the main street in Irvinestown but I was too shy to talk to her, so I gave her a whistle.” LINK: Read more

Some women find it offensive. I guess the most amusing reaction to be whistled at by builders is by an Israeli tourist in New Zealand [LINK].

Road workers in a small New Zealand town got their wish granted when a woman stripped saying she was fed up with their wolf-whistles

The Israeli tourist was about to use an ATM in the main street of Kerikeri, in the far north of the country, when the men whistled, the New Zealand Press Association reported.

She calmly stripped off, used the cash machine, before getting dressed and walking away.

The woman told police she didn’t take too kindly to the whistling from the men repairing the road.

“She said she had thought ‘bugger them, I’ll show them what I’ve got’,” Police Sergeant Peter Masters told NZPA.

“She gave the explanation that she had been … pestered by New Zealand men. She’s not an unattractive looking lady,” Masters said.

“She was taken back to the police station and spoken to and told that was inappropriate in New Zealand.”

A Place in Heaven

Shouldn’t there be at least one or two bits of positive news we read daily? There are really a lot of good people out there in the world but somehow a scandal or bad news always ranks higher on the reporter’s agenda.

I read this old bit of news on the BBC this morning Hindu helps faithful Muslims fast

Barati Lal is the equivalent of the legendary Kuwaiti Bo 6tubailah from the Kuwaiti past. Lal walks the streets just before the Suhoor time during Ramadan (when it is time for Muslims to start the fast for the next day) and calls out to people: “Get up, my dears. It is time to take your meal.”

Nothing odd about that except Lal is Hindu. According to the BBC article:

“At the mosque of Chaudhuri Tola, Imam Rafi Ullah and his friends are full of praise for Mr Lal.

Allah will surely grant him a place in heaven, says one Muslim.

Another one says having Mr Lal around means no one in the neighbourhood misses their “sehri” – the pre-dawn meal that precedes the day-long fast.”

Indecent Sex

How some people manipulate the law to their own advantage:

Virgin wife says Canadian husband wants indecent sex

KUWAIT CITY, May 4: The Jahra police have arrested a Canadian man of Arab origin, following a complaint filed by his wife —believed to be a citizen of an unidentified GCC state — for forcing her to have indecent sex with him, reports Al-Rai daily. In her complaint, the wife said although she married the man four months ago, she is still a virgin. However, when the husband was summoned for interrogation, he denied the ‘baseless’ accusations, but admitted that his wife is still a virgin. He told police she is still a virgin because she does not allow him to come near her and asks for divorce. The husband added the wife fabricated the story because he asked her to return his dowry and wedding gifts. The husband has also requested the concerned authorities to refer his wife to Forensics to prove that her allegations are wrong. The husband has been released on bail and upon his request she has been referred to Forensics.

White Viagra

A couple of weeks ago, Dr. Foz was discussing the advertisement and sale of non-prescription medications and products for sexual enhancement in Kuwait. For the most part she stressed on how these products were gimmicks and not only were their effects temporary if at all, but that they posed high risks to the users.

One of the products she mentioned was “white Viagra”. She did not mention any other descriptive name to identify the drug.  According to Dr. Foz, these pills originate in China. They are composed from urine gathered from male public toilets and dried to form a sexual enhancement aid for men. The reason supposedly they “work” is the high levels of testosterone amassed when all the male urine is collected.

Dr. Foz warned of the dangers of using such drugs as Chinese white Viagra saying that urine from unknown sources could be full of disease-causing elements.

A Mediterranean Affair

Fluffy, creamy Turkish labneh. Plump, doe-eyed Kalamata black olives, glistening in a light coating of Syrian extra-virgin olive oil. Freshly sliced Kuwaiti cucumbers for 25 fils a carton, crunchy emerald green bites. Breaking off thin pita bread from the Kuwaiti flour mills company, toasted to a light golden hue and dipping into the colorful array on my stark white plate. Perhaps a plump Kuwaiti tomato thinly sliced to add a bright tangy zing.

Washed down with a slow brewed Ahmad tea and cardamom infused milk.

A perfect breakfast for a summer’s day.

Sexting Pros & Cons

This was a question asked here and columnist Suzi Godson gave some good advice.

More Unusual Jobs for Women

We have no funeral homes in Kuwait akin to Western funeral homes.

In Kuwait when a person dies, the body is kept in the hospital morgue and buried as soon as possible in the morning or afternoon burial shifts in any of the relevant cemeteries in Kuwait. There are separate cemeteries for Shiites and for Sunnis (as well as two I believe for Christians or as it is called Non-Muslims).

In any case, I will leave the discussion of cemeteries and funerals till another time.

When a Muslim person dies, the body is prepared for burial accordingly in a place called the “Mugaisil” normally in the cemetary grounds. In the Mugaisil the body is washed and readied for the funeral ceremony.

Recently, a female Kuwaiti columnist Aziz Mufarrij displayed her annoyance with the refusal of relevant authorities to allow Kuwaiti women to volunteer or to work at the Mugaisil washing the bodies of dead women. She cited the policy of the Municipality to employ expatriate women of Arab and Asian origins to do the job.

Ashwaq Al-Mudhaf, a member of the Municipal Council at the Municipality, took up the issue at the Council meeting and asked the Director about the refusal to employ Kuwaiti women in the funereal services. Among the list of questions submitted, Al-Mudhaf asks if employment in the municipal funereal services is a haphazard process or if it depends on certain regulations and requirements. She also wonders about the process of employment and whether Kuwaiti women are allowed to work as body washers in the Mugaisil or not. (Link)

World Cup Hunks

World Cup Stars featured in Vanity Fair - D. Drogba & C. Ronaldo

Feast your eyes, ladies.

Link

more about “Cristiano Ronaldo Covers Vanity Fair …“, posted with vodpod

It’s Complicated

Does an affair with your married ex-husband constitute an affair?

I loved this film.

And this clip is hilarious:

Lidocaine administered for momentary suspension of gnat-thoughts clouding the heart

my little thoughts are like gnats buzzing around in a dark cloud around my head; like a swarm of gnats, dark, formless, shape-shifting and blurry when I need to focus on any one thing; how is it that you are there amongst them, flitting from one to the other, bouncing off one and merging into another? give me peace.

i think of turning my face up and drinking the blue sky till it fills my brain and seeps over the edges, and when I exhale I think of fluffy white clouds that float out between my lips and through my nostrils.

the prospect of sleep renders me doubtful about my intentions; do I sleep to dream of you? do I sleep to escape thinking of you?

there you are amongst the gnats, among the viscous thick sludge in my slumber; i struggle to wake; to remember; but there is only your vague presence; no delight; no happiness; just the gnawing, nagging thoughts that seem to arise out of a parched vessel calling out …

release; a final severance.

a blot.