Monthly Archives: January 2009

Wearing My Heart

Wearing My Heart

you have the

audacity

to don

another robe

and claim

an entrance

to my heart.

you have the audacity

to flick my heart -

as raw

as tender

as a slab of uncooked meat -

a mere steak

you would barbecue for lunch

after prodding

and turning in

the bloody marinade you prepared

with such serendipity.

you are audacious

- I think

with some repetition -

as I lay here semi-conscious

fuming with thoughts of

closure

and

disclosure

finally

deciding

upon neither.

Only printing words onto

my heart

and wearing it

on my sleeve.

Season of Love

Season of Love

Momentarily

transported

to a time

when love was new

and fragile petals

untouched,

inhaling

fragrant, heady

zephyr

promising unknown

pleasures;

inebriated with

expectations,

frisky as a young

colt

enticed by

the scent of

green fields

and clover.

You are

the season

of love.

House of Comfort

House of Comfort

Dear Readers,

I’m pleased to share with you a piece written by a guest writer on the Boudoir, Eti Quette , who has recently joined the workforce and describes some of the more daunting aspects of spending the whole day at work. Enjoy and please don’t hesitate to offer any golden nuggets of advice.

Jewaira

=========================

Generally, when you’re about to step in the world of employment after a whole lifetime spent studying, people are always full of good advice regarding how this new phase of your life should be tackled. They talk of dedication to work, diligence, and of professional work ethics. They say you must make sure you start your career on a good foot and thereafter the rest will only be a question of gradually progressing up the ladder.

I have to say I totally agree. This is some sensible piece of advice and I do think that following it to a certain extent guarantees a healthy professional life with some rewards eventually. But you’ve heard this before and by now you’re probably bored already thinking to yourself, bleeping hell, not another tedious story from some wannabe self-help writer or not another wise-crack blogger who’s seen it all. Factually speaking, I am not even a writer.

I digress. My exposé will pertain to a slightly different subject matter. One that no-one’s gonna tell you about before you start the next 40 or so years of your life working away. Fecal matter to be precise. Disgusting stuff, I know, but let’s face it, we’ve all been there and done that.
Let’s set the premises. It’s about 10:45 or 14:45, it could be any time really. You feel the urge and you just know you have to go to the bathroom and it’s not number 1.

Personally, I prefer my own bathroom at home to anywhere else but in times of need you just don’t have any choice. Most importantly, you’re in some western country and typically they don’t rely on the use of water for cleaning up. Yeah, they may be technologically advanced but somehow the true concept of cleanliness seems to evade them.

Below is a list of things that supplements the lack of  ‘nozzle’ facilities at your workplace.

- Use a pair of hand-towels (tissues), one soaked with a bit of water and handwash liquid & the other one left dry

First you need to clean the toilet seat since you’re gonna be sitting on it (unfortunately so). I’ll let you guess as to how to proceed. Important point to note here, do not dispose of the tissues in the toilet. DO NOT DISPOSE in the toilet. Discard them into the bin nearby. You want to optimise the experience by reducing time taken and mental trauma (due to stress). What you don’t want is for the drainage system to be clogged with massive chunks of tissue paper.

- Have 2 or 3 bottles of water ready for washing up. For an even cleaner solution, add some soap to the first bottle and subsequently use the other 2 bottles lest you wanna end up with a soapy ass.

There is an unspoken etiquette in such situation. Be as inconspicuous and as fast as you can or your colleagues will be wondering about what you’re getting up to. Keep the bottles filled up at all times; you don’t wanna be seen coming out of the washroom with empty bottles. And make sure you spray some air freshener if there’s any available.
The above is what I would advise people about to take up full-time employment; I’ll leave the other good stuff about work ethics to the pros.

Kuwaiti Boyfriend

Kuwaiti Boyfriend

Dear Jewaira,

I have a Kuwaiti boyfriend who lives in Kuwait. I am from Europe.  We are both 25 and planning on getting married after graduating (in about 2yrs). I’ve known him for 1,5 years and I’ve met 3 of his brothers. We have a long distance relationship but we’ve been seeing each other every month or so.

I myself don’t have all the knowledge about Kuwait and its culture.

I have some questions about it and I would really really like to get in touch with other people in the same situation as I,  and also with Kuwaiti girls to find out how life really is in Kuwait.

I would like to ask you if you could post my question/situation on your forum, or maybe you have first hand information for me? I have been a week in Kuwait, and I really loved it, but what I didn’t experience is some interaction with the people.

I hope you can help me with this.

Best regards,

Sarah

My Inauguration Story

My Inauguration Story

Dear Readers:

I am happy to share with you one reader’s personal account of the Inauguration of President Obama. PhantomMan has been a long time blog friend and I asked him to share a personal account of the event as experienced on that day.

Jewaira

==================

The Inauguration was an incredible time for me and for all those who attended.  It was a memorable day, an historic day, a very exciting day.   My niece and her boyfriend had come to visit me for this occasion and our Inauguration Day actually started the previous day, January 19, when we went to the Mall and scouted out the situation to determine a location where we wanted to stand.  We found a spot that we thought would provide a good view, was easily accessible, and would be good for photos.

Our Inauguration Day started early — we got to the Metro at 5:30 a.m., and we arrived downtown by 6:30.  Although the trains were packed, we had no problem getting on the Metro; however, when we arrived downtown, we realized that the Metro system was not set up to handle such large crowds.  Each passenger must pass through a turnstile to pay, and that takes time.  As the trains emptied, passengers packed the platforms and the escalators leading to the turnstiles.  The backup at the turnstiles and in the stations was massive and crushing, and some trains had to skip some stations because no more passengers could be discharged onto the platforms.  We had planned to exit at one station, but had to exit at a different station because of the crowded platforms.

When we got off the train, we realized immediately that people should have been permitted to ride free, without needing to stop to pay as they passed through the turnstiles.  Politicians run the Metro system, and they wanted the revenue more than they wanted to be helpful to passengers and visitors, so they required everyone to pay.  Later we learned that approximately one million people used the Metro system on Inauguration Day.  If the average fare was about $2.50, the revenue that day was about $2.5 million.  With all of the expenses that day — totaling more than $150 million — surely $2.5 million could have been found to help people move through the Metro system without the massive backups.

As we exited the Metro, we faced darkness and cold with people everywhere quickly making their way to the Mall.  Volunteers in red knitted caps were everywhere, guiding the crowds and making everyone feel happy.  I stopped to take a photo of a food stand that was selling hot food for breakfast; hawkers of Obama souvenirs were everywhere selling buttons, banners, hats, calendars, and many other items.

When we finally got out of the Metro station, we headed quickly toward our preferred location, only to find that it was already filled, and the entrance was closed.  We were directed farther away from the Capitol, and we ended up pretty far back from the podium.  If you see a map of the Mall, we were just across from the Hirschhorn Museum, about half way between the Capitol and the Washington Monument — perhaps 800-1000 meters from the podium.

We worked our way forward as far as possible.  The crowd was crushing; people were standing shoulder to shoulder.  I have never experienced such huge numbers of people.  It was a complete crush of people.  However, the mood was one of incredible excitement and celebration, so the feeling was very joyful.  Huge “Jumbotrons” had been set up along the Mall, so everyone could see the ceremonies, and the sound system was really great.  We were just not close enough to take good photos.

After we arrived at the location where we would stand, we realized that we would be standing in that location for six hours with very little movement.  We soon learned how difficult it is to stand in one place for a long time.  Backs hurt, knees hurt, freezing feet hurt until they become numb.  One can stamp one’s feet, but that is not very helpful.  As we made our way onto the Mall, volunteers handed out small American flags to wave, and  everyone spent the day waving their flags.  I think some of the waving was to provide a little motion as much as to cheer.

The cold was also painful.  When we arrived at the Mall, the temperature was 19 degrees Fahrenheit (about -7 C); it warmed up to about 32 degrees F (0 C) by the time of the swearing in.  The cold is painful to the face and to the hands, and particularly to the feet.  We had dressed well, wearing long ski underwear and several layers of clothing.  We had warm knitted hats pulled down over our ear muffs, and warm gloves.  We also had chemical “hand warmers”, which were particularly helpful.  One hand warmer inside a glove kept one’s hands warm the entire day.   Some people put the warmers inside their shoes as well.  The bigger problem was not the cold, but the standing in one place for six hours.  At the end, we had problems making our bodies, particularly our knees, work again.

In the beginning, our standing was boring.  We talked with people around us, and among ourselves, but it was boring just standing.  After a time, the Jumbotrons began a replay of the Sunday concert at the Lincoln Memorial that was televised on HBO.
The entire show was replayed, and it was very, very good.  The show ran about 90 minutes, which took us up to about an hour prior to the beginning of the ceremony.  At that point, the Jumbotrons began to show preparations on the platform and then dignitaries arriving.  It was interesting to watch famous people arrive, and to see the TV shots of motorcades bringing them to the Capitol.  All of the entertainment being shown on the Jumbotrons really helped the time to pass in a more pleasant way, and greatly added to the happy feeling of the day.  Any glimpse of Obama or his family brought huge, sustained cheers from the crowd, and the cheers did not stop during the procession of his motorcade to the Capitol.

As we passed the time during the six-hour wait, we talked with people around us, and we learned that virtually everyone in our area was from out of town, mostly from California.  They had come to experience the historical event and also to celebrate Bush’s departure.  When Bush was shown on the Jumbotron, boos went up from the masses.   People from California and Texas and Maine around us all expressed deep relief and overwhelming joy at the change.  The mood was one of great celebration.

One man from Houston had come by himself, just to experience the event.  Another man from Orange County,  California also came just to witness the historical event.  The two men in front of us, also from California, were hopeful that Obama would have a more respected foreign policy, one that Americans could respect, as well as those in other countries.  Several people said they believed that Obama would be more respectful of our Constitution.   Everyone felt that he would be better for America in every respect than Bush.

As Obama took the oath of office, everyone noticed the mix-up in the wording of the oath, although we were not aware that Chief Justice Roberts was speaking from memory, and simply forgot the words.  (We now know that he had to administer the oath again at the White House because the Constitution requires the oath to be certain specific words, and without those words, a Constitutional challenge might have been made about whether Obama was in fact the President.)  However, a giant roar erupted as Obama said, “So help me God.”  During his address, roars went up numerous times, and at the end of his address, the roar continued for several minutes.  At that moment, everyone began leaving the Mall, without waiting for the final prayer, which we heard as we exited.

A huge problem arose at end of the ceremony as everyone exited the Mall.  We all knew that the parade route was along Pennsylvania Avenue, north of the Mall.  However, all through the day, messages were displayed on the Jumbotrons instructing everyone to exit through three places — 7th Street, 12th Street, and 14th Street, along Constitution Avenue.  Being happy and willing to follow instructions, everyone did as they were instructed.  However, when we got to the 7th Street exit, it was blocked by security.  Everyone began to move to the 12th Street exit, but they found it to be blocked by security as well.  An even larger mass of people formed at that exit, until they gradually moved to the 14th Street exit, which they found was also blocked.

Only after much time and frustration did people finally move farther west along the Mall until they found that they were able to exit at 17th Street.  Even then, all streets heading north were blocked until 21st Street.  If the Jumbotron messages had simply informed the crowd that the only exit would be as far west as 17th Street, there would have been no problem; everyone would have simply gone there in the first place.

Now we are into the second day of the Obama Administration, and polls show that about 75 percent of the American people are hopeful that he will bring improvements in our country and in the world.   At long last, we can again be happy and even proud to be Americans.  It is a great time, an exciting time, a hopeful time.  Many in America are reminded of the words of Gerald Ford when he assumed the Presidency after Richard Nixon resigned: “America’s long nightmare is over.”  Thank God.

Unbroken Silences

Unbroken Silences

I’m sick. It’s the third bad cold I’ve gotten within a month and a half. I’ve always thought I was as robust as a horse but I’m buckling at the knees this season. Overworked. Stressed. Sure I am happy but my immunity is low for some odd reason. I read last night about the Black Plague in the news yesterday..and I woke up with a worst chest cold than I went to bed with. I should perhaps try Making Love in the Kitchen: Gingerly Healing.

The wonders of ginger.

I bought some looseleaf  Saudi mint tea recently. When some overseas guests became enamored with it, I was delighted to give them the brand new container. It’s a special restorative mint.

Perhaps all we need is a long week of rain. Non-stop drizzle. Heavy downpours. Thunder clapping. Rumbling. As beautiful as our weather is these days, we are in desperate need of a good wash down.

It’s not long now, before January is over. Everyone is silent in turns. Your silence is the one I am least complacent about. Emotionally. I enjoy the quiet as I lay here on my bed, recovering. But I feel you peak in, every now and then to check up on me. And your silence more than anything, makes me lift my head and form the unasked question as I fall back into my sick delirium.

Haha.

Are you a gold digger?

Are you a gold digger?

Well, well, well…

The truth is out about us ladies at last!

Wealthy Men Give Women More Orgasms...

The latest study reveals that women with wealthy partners had more orgasms during sex than others.

Maybe that is why the price of dowries in Kuwait has skyrocketed and men are  reportedly miffed with females whose families ask for a very high dowry.

Just think of it gentlemen…in the end, they will please you more.

We’re not gold diggers, are we?

==============

IntlXpatr has posted on this today as well.

18 Years Ago

18 Years Ago

It was 18 years ago today when you walked in to my room and said: “It has started.”

You were referring to the start of the aerial strikes in Operation Desert Storm against targets in Kuwait and Iraq on January 17th 1991.

Neither of us were happy as we exchanged blank looks. War is destructive. The anxiety and fear within our hearts continued as we sat glued to CNN, the only source of round the clock news then.

Later on when I walked in the park with a Kuwaiti woman married to an Iraqi, I was slightly taken aback by her gung-ho happy attitude towards the strikes.

Aren’t you worried about your family there? I asked.

She was much more positive and confident than I was.

No. They are protected. The important thing is to get out country back, she replied.

It wasn’t till later, after the war, that our family back in Kuwait told us how those bombings were like music to their ears and a final sign that they were going to be liberated from the occupying Iraqi army.

===========

Irrelevant Meanderings

Priceless Virginity

Priceless Virginity

What price would you place on virginity? $3.7 million?

When a rich man is willing to pay that much money for one night of unattached sex with a virgin, what is that saying about our priorities as human beings and how we spend our money?

What does it say about the way men perceive women? That there are no real “virgins” out there anymore so having one all to yourself is a rare “delicacy”?

And what technically constitutes a virgin? Only an intact hymen?

Why do I keep remembering what (J) told me about one of his many girlfriends, whose hymen was indeed intact, but she was very much an expert in all kinds of non-vaginal sex. Does it count?

Virginity is not simply a physical condition but also an untouched mental state where the whole experience is new and felt for the very first time.

Hmm, it seems like I have asked too many rhetorical questions.

And yes, I rather like the idea of a virginal, untouched male, but I certainly wouldn’t fork up $4 million for that kind of experience.

More here

Nuzha

Nuzha

It was a quiet afternoon and the streets were practically empty. I drove into Nuzha and headed towards the Co-op to the restaurant where I could buy some biryani. I was craving rice and everyone at home was on a diet ( a diet of fast food burgers!)

In the restaurant, other men like me were standing around waiting for their orders. My mouth started watering at the sight of the lamb machbus and the chicken biryani. I decided to get a plate of both. Why not? A growing man needs nourishment.

I flicked my mesbah restlessly and looked out the large windows at a big truck parked right outside the restaurant. There was a group of overgrown high school guys standing around, probably also waiting for their orders to finish. They looked odd. They all had on sweatshirts, track pants, and their hair was long and uncombed. Out of bed style I think it’s called. But the oddest aspect of their appearance was what they wore on their feet. None of those young man wore shoes. Some wore flip-flop slippers over socks and most wore thick household slippers. It was a strange uniform.

I tried not to stare. Staring can get you into bad situations. I read about fights that have resulted from too much staring between guys. It has never happened to me though. I mean, people mostly stare at me so most of the time I am avoiding being looked at. I guess I look different too.

I heard a humming noise. Then it turned into a semi-singing chanting sound. I looked around for the source and just as quickly averted my gaze as I sheepishly realized it was the cashier, reading Quran in a loud voice. My face  turned to the server who was preparing my order but my ears were tuned into the cashier. who kept repeating the same phrase over and over again. It sounded ominous: Ma kanoo yahtharoon…And they did not take heed…

He wore a knitted hat and the look in his eyes was distant in that split second that I laid eyes on him.

We all seemed to pick up our orders at once. I rushed off to my car across the street, feeling the gaze of the young men upon me.

The Sorceress

The Sorceress

I like this word:   Sorceress!

I am astounded:   She says she has earned 85,000 KD through black magic!

(And I am increasingly thinking that a university degree does not always guarantee you a hefty salary…it must be how resourceful a person is)

I wonder:  Why do female university students go to a sorceress?

I think:   that the policemen who have arrested her are fearful of her powers but can’t say because it would not be masculine enough to admit their fears.

From:  Arab Times

Sorceress held: Police have arrested an unidentified Iraqi sorceress and referred her to the concerned authorities, reports Al-Dar daily.
The arrest came following a complaint filed by an unidentified Kuwaiti man who told police the woman had cheated by selling him a magic charm for KD 230. He also told police he had been wearing the charm for three months and failed to get what he aspired for.
Acting on this information police set a trap for the sorceress and caught her in the act while selling a charm worth KD 300 to a police agent. Armed with a search and arrest warrant, police then raided the apartment and confiscated various kinds of tools used by the suspect in black magic.
During interrogations she admitted to the charge and said her clientele includes well-known personalities and female university students. She also said she has until now ‘earned’ KD 85,000 from her ‘work’.
It has also been reported many people, particularly those who believe in her power, intervened in vain to secure her release.


PMS Buddy

PMS Buddy

I wonder if this site actually works?

Some women use PMS to excuse irritable, maddening, inexplicable, and oftentimes downright outrageous behaviour.

Oftentimes the men in our lives are perplexed or driven to retaliatory action when faced with  women experiencing PMS.

So the caring people at PMS Buddy thought up an idea to assist the people in our lives to better understand us:

PMSBuddy.com is a free service created with a single goal in mind: to keep you aware of when your wife, girlfriend, mother, sister, daughter, or any other women in your life are closing in on “that time of the month” – when things can get intense for what may seem to be no reason at all….”

I guess you don’t have to be male to use it. You could use it to anticipate your female boss’ mood changes too if you are a woman. It would help improve communication in the workplace that’s for sure.