One of the more interesting radio programmes this morning on 97.5 FM   Kuwait was a talk show on the family, and especially marital relations during the holy month of Ramadan.

There were two hosts – a man and woman – in the talk show, gentle and soft spoken and full of positive encouragement and advice to listeners.

When I first tuned in, the female was urging women not to beg off satisfying her husband during Ramadan or turning him away without sexual gratification. It was a woman’s duty, she said, to tend to her husband and take care of all his needs whenever he beckoned her and not to turn away with the excuse of Ramadan religious duties. (Of course all sexual encounters in Ramadan occur after sunset and before sunrise. )

At this point, I was naturally building up a counter argument in my mind and getting mentally ready to attack the radio host – a female – turning against her own and urging them to disregard any of their own desires and discomfort  just to please the husband and would he do the same if she was in the mood and he was too knackered?

I remembered a story in Sweden where one of the Arab immigrant wives raised a court case against her husband on the grounds of marital rape. She had obviously had enough of her husband, according to my source, and the best way was to use the Swedish law to get rid of her husband with an effective kick to his manhood.  Swedish law protects women from acts of violence and forced sexual relations and I chuckle to myself, wondering if this indeed keeps immigrant Arab men in check?

Well, I diverged mentally for a brief moment but continued to listen to the gentle hosts and their continued interpretation of marital relations during Ramadan.

I was impressed. Listeners were encouraged to say positive, pleasant things to their spouses daily, to be warm and respectful in their manner of speech, and to woo each other constantly with endearments and affection in order for their marriage to blossom. (The point being although they were underlining the importance of sexual gratification, a wholesome positive manner was also called for as well)

True that Ramadan is a month of prayers, fasting, and intensified religious reflection, but that should not mean for us to neglect our home or family, most especially our spouses.

The radio host cited an example of a woman’s story who said for more than 18 years of their marriage, her husband never missed any prayers in the mosque especially during Ramadan and one could very well find him in the first row of people praying after azan; however, during Ramadan he made her sleep in the sala on a sofa and instead of speaking to her warmly , always spoke gruffly to her and never expressed any form of affection. Was it right for him to be so perform his prayers so zealously yet mistreat his wife at the same time especially during a month of intensified religious reflection?

We all need emotional, psychological, and physical satisfaction from our partners; it is the difference between a blooming relationship and an unsatisfactory one. And being religious means being aware of performing all duties towards one’s spouse  by “practicing a happier relationship”  till  the end of the month at least.

Mbarak 3alaikom eshahar and Ramadan Kareem to all. May this month be blessed with love and peace wherever you are.