Marital Status & Elections April 27, 2008
Posted by jewaira in Kuwait, Life, Men, Women.trackback
How important is marital status to the possible success of a parliamentary candidate?
When we choose someone to represent us in parliament, we would ideally like that person to be as socially wholesome as possible and that often means with spouse and perhaps children. This is the traditional outlook.
However, in this day and age in Kuwait, people do divorce and either remain single or go on to remarry.
Should this be held against them as candidates?
I was surprised at the reactions by some women who at the outset are not in favour at all of single women or divorced women to represent them in parliament regardless of social standing or professional qualifications. Women still see each other as a threat and unmarried women more so.
I invite you to ponder the following points:
* If a woman is divorced, it is not necessarily due to shortcomings on her side. There is a good possibility that she was subject to some injustice and unfair treatment and that may give her more incentive to work to better the lot of other women in government.
* Do we look at a divorced man the same way we perceive a divorced woman? Or are we more lenient?
* What about male candidates who have more than one wife? What does that say about their domestic stability?
* Is it better to have a balanced single, divorced member of parliament or one who is unhappily married but sticking to the institution because of social protocol?
We need to be the change we want to see.
lol I think we’re past the age of the “Kennedys Perfection” social syndrome. Its how well the candidate is ready to serve his country though I can imagine how stereotypical some people can be in their judgment.
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Sushi
I wish there were more people especially women who think like you.
It is an unfortunate truth that there is a stigma against divorcees and single female candidates.
As women, we need to get over it and understand that only women will push for the reforms we need to see concerning the issues that have long been neglected.
Jewaira
Rola Dashti is one of the single women candidates. I have talked to her and her family and unfortunately, her marital status does make a difference.
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Frankly speaking, Rola Dashti has several things going against her and the main thing is her Lebanese accent. When I have heard her speak it was in classical Arabic and that is commended. However, in order to reach out to the masses who need to identify with their candidate, she needs to make the effort to speak their same “language”.
In discussions, I argue that perhaps Rola Dashti appeals to those mixed Kuwaitis, who want to see different faces and change in parliament. I do hope that she wins to represent her district.
There is a tremendous need for female candidates to familiarize themselves with the general public and to reach out to all constituencies to eradicate stereotypical misconceptions.
Jewaira
If the candidate can’t maintain his specific life how he will maintain the rights of others.
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Yes, perhaps that is what most people think.
The craziest reason I heard is that a divorcee or single women is a threat to the married men in the majlis.
When will we ever stop thinking on those terms?
Jewaira
Jewaira, it is sad that women are so slow to accept other women in elected positions, and that seems true everywhere. Women in most countries hold a substantial majority of the votes, so they are the ones who determine the outcome of elections. Yet, everywhere we see that women find reasons not to vote for other women. Why are women so afraid of women in elected positions? Women are less afraid of terrible men than they are of other women.
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Women in Kuwait could certainly make a difference if they wanted to and if they had proper preparation in how to select the most suitable candidates.
I passed by a fast food store just now and in the newspaper section there was a pamphlet (which I did not pick up) directed towards women and prepared by a very organized religious movement here in Kuwait. So there are some people who are working on directing women’s vote. (Of course this particular groups has NO female candidates)
It baffles me still why women are so much against women. Perhaps it is uncontrollable envy.
Jewaira
and you want me to vote? women won’t vote for women, na7asa
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Well, Purgatory, I guess you could set a good example now couldn’t you?
Pretty please
J
I would vote for you ;p
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Now that is a step in the right direction!
J
This is probably one of the worst cases we have in our culture. Even when speaking in general situation, the divorce is almost always blamed on the wife not the husband.
“We need to be the change we want to see.”
I think that should be a motto for every Kuwaiti at this day and age. Let’s hope things will change for the better this time.
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It is a stigma that must be changed, Angelo.
And being the change we want to see is attributed to Mahatma Ghandi I believe.
Jewaira
Look for the labour result, not for the person.
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Indeed we need people who work with sincerity to represent us.
J
You are absolutely right Jewaira, if there is one ultimately destructive and utterly negative thing we face collectively as Kuwaiti women, it is this the insanity of being pitted against one another OVER MEN. It is the fact that WE ALLOW ourselves to turn or be turned against each other for the pettiest, most childish, trivial, insulting and inconsequential of reasons.
A divorcee is a threat to men in parliament? HA! Tsk tsk tsk, poor victimized parliamentary men, to have to face being tempted to sin and sexually ravaging by a preying divorcee, those sexually starved temptresses and hussies just looking to become mesyaar or mut3a or third or fourth wives! The horror! Oh those poor parliamentary men with their fragile moralities! How will we ever protect them (excuse my sarcasm, it’s too ludicrous)???
My God, what have Kuwaiti women been turned into?
Kuwaiti women are each others best allies. They are sisters and don’t even know it. They face a special caliber of dire and degrading problems the likes few have experienced before. We cannot afford to succumb to the insanity of this preposterous notion of jealousy over men and husbands, power, looks, age, or social strata. The most empowering thing we can do as women of Kuwait is to unite ourselves in spirit AND IN ACTION in the shared and common cause of saving OURSELVES.
I will never, ever turn my back against any Kuwaiti woman or take part in her degradation or the feeding of her insecurity EVEN IF SHE SO MISGUIDEDLY WANTS TO FEED MINE ( and I have plenty) or does me wrong, because she has been reared to use that modus operandi as a means to her own survival in the vicious land of wolves and vultures we live in. I consider each and every Kuwaiti woman my sister, her problem is my problem, her pain is mine as well. Because as women, we want the same things, share the same fears and have the same needs, the same hopes and dreams. The last thing we need now is to find more reasons to stratify ourselves according to antiquated and destructive ideas of social caste and give in to fears that have been fed by those smart enough to prey on a woman’s insecurities, in a world that is especially conducive to doing so by default, and is only to happy to viciously feed that insecurity at any opportunity in order to keep Kuwaiti women powerless and ignorant.
It is a dangerous time now for Kuwait in my opinion. I see Kuwait as teetering on a sharp edge, looking down into a vast and deep precipice from which there may be no climbing out of. The line between hope and despair is very, very thin for me when I take a look around me.
Sorry i turned this into a comment about the politics of Kuwaiti women.
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MsBaker
Thank you as always for you interest and input.
I keep hearing over and over again about women’s negative experiences with their female bosses and that colours their perception. In their minds, a male boss is more lenient, forgiving, and understanding than a female boss. In my opinion if your boss is laying down rules or just ensuring that work gets done, then it’s the employees fault for seeking the easy way out.
However, there are some women bosses (like some men) who try to hard to prove their worth by being overbearing or sometimes unfair and I think those are traits that need to be revised by some administrative grooming and preparation rather than just regarding it as a trait attributed to women only.
J
No its not, I do not vote for you because of your womanly features, I vote for you because your kind to me.
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Thank you for your sincerity Purgatory
J
Objectively, a divorced woman would have more time to be a single-minded, motivated MP, wouldn’t she? Or an older married woman, whose children are grown and support her campaign? Or a determinedly single woman with a platform?
It totally cracks me up that divorce would be an issue only for women - don’t people ever ask about the men’s chaotic marital status? Where their testosterone leads them? Or their financial instability?
Let’s give women the same chance to screw everything up that we have given the men!
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That is exactly my thinking too, IntlXpatr. It will take time to eradicate preconceptions.
J
Very interesting topic. As long as the politicians come packaged right its all good.
The truth is that politics is about selling and appealing. You are selling a product - selling values, selling beliefs, selling dreams, selling causes. If you’re single, married, divorced or shacked -up with the hired help it doesnt make the blindest bit of difference as long as you sell it right.
Its easy for people to believe their children are angels when many are clearly not so why are politicians any different? We are co-authors of their product and look for symbols to manifacture and justify the product we read. We see them in formal clothing all conservatively dressed up and we’ll think “he or she is decent and honest”. We watch the news and see a so-called expert who could be talking utter drivel, but because of the leather bound books behind him and he’s wearing the horn-rimmed specs, guess what, people buy into it.
We’re having (less glamourous) issues here in London with our Mayoral elections.. We have three old rotund men fighting for the title, the right wing BNP threatening to gain seats in the london assembly, and a hostile right wing London paper (The Evening Standard) trying to dig dirt on good old ken.
A Kuwaiti unattached woman run for the Mayoress of London..that would spice things up!
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Hello N
These are fun days here in Kuwait attending candidate speeches and getting caught up in all the congestion
J