At the opening of Saleh Al-Mulla’s campaign quarters a few nights ago, former member of parliament Abdulla Al-Naibari gave a heated speech that touched on several subjects, including women’s rights.

He said that although Kuwaiti women have gained their political rights to elect and be elected, there are still many women’s issues that need to see reforms. Kuwaiti women have been elected or selected to the highest positions (i.e. ambassadorial, ministerial, or educational), they can own and run the biggest businesses, and they can be totally independent economically. But when it comes to doing something as simple as renewing their passports, they need a male guardian.

It sounds ridiculous doesn’t it?

Recently, I went to the passport services department in my area, armed with the family passports and with the intention of renewing them on my own. As soon as the empolyee in the reception saw my folder full of Kuwaiti passports, she asked me who they were for and I said for my husband, children, and myself.

Is the father around? she asked.

In retrospect, I ponder what this means.
If I were divorced, I would not have his passport in my hands to renew now would I?

I did not stop to think but nodded quickly and innocently:

Yes, of course but he asked me to help him finish his paperwork.

She shook her head resolutely:

Absolutely not. There is no way you can renew the family passports. He must do it himself. A copy of his civil ID must be attached to every passport.

(Because we are all his)

Including mine? I asked.

Yes, including yours.

I called to inform my husband that my mission had failed and he was indignant.

How can that be? What do women with no male guardians do?

I don’t know. All I know is that you have to finish the job yourself. Nothing much else I can do here.

This is only one example of the many difficulties that face women in Kuwait and that hamper their independence.

She furtively

plucks the white

fragrant “ful”

from my garden

and rushes to keep it

in her room,

thinking I won’t miss

what I don’t see;

But

the perfume

swells into the air

and gives her

away.

==

And I smile

quietly

at the pleasure

she feels

in such little things

as I breathe in the

whiffs of fragrance

floating

down

the stairs.

Forgive me

tiny spider

for uprooting you

when I plucked

your fragrant white home

and placed it on

my dashboard

early

this morning.

===

You bounced

out

in indignation

and scurried

across

the cold a/c vent

as I made my way

through

the congested

morning traffic.

===

I no longer

search

through dusty papers

to find

you.

====

I no longer

wait

holding

cliches

at my little window

to hear

the truth.

===

Unclench your

fists

my dear.

===

I see myself

already

long gone,

in peace,

walking down

the greying

meadowed lanes

of my heart.

It still makes me wonder how all those Kuwaiti women who were against women’s suffrage,  are now keen to attend candidate gathering and very interested in discussing who they should vote for and why.

It also makes me wonder how all those Kuwaiti men (members of parliament and conservative men in our families) who were staunchly against any involvement of women in politics, are now actively seeking to influence the feminine vote.

And one only has to see how many women’s headquarters are set up for  male candidates to meet the female constituencies in all districts to believe how seriously they are taking the female vote. With their numbers, women can certainly sway the vote in favour of certain candidates.

I heard an interesting account that displays the difference between the elections of 2006 and the present elections.  In 2006, my friend tells me, her conservative brother influenced all the women in his family of voting age to vote for a certain candidate who represented a certain Islamic group. This candidate went on to win but did not do much in parliament, she says.

This time around, the women in the family have told their conservative brother outright that they will not vote for his friend again; and that they have other candidates to choose from.

It seems to me this is a good sign. Hopefully these women, and others, will make an effort to make up their own minds about who they will vote for on May 17th based on their own sound judgments. If one is looking at candidates who were previous members of parliament, one should find out about their achievements since 2006 and their performance. If they are new candidates, then one should look at their previous political and social record. It is always important to see how involved a candidate has been.

Women can make a difference in many ways if they make educated choices.

How important is marital status to the possible success of a parliamentary candidate?

When we choose someone to represent us in parliament, we would ideally like that person to be as socially wholesome as possible and that often means with spouse and perhaps children. This is the traditional outlook.

However, in this day and age in Kuwait, people do divorce and either remain single or go on to remarry.

Should this be held against them as candidates?

I was surprised at the reactions by some women who at the outset are not in favour at all of single women or divorced women to represent them in parliament regardless of social standing or  professional qualifications. Women still see each other as a threat and unmarried women more so.

I invite you to ponder the following points:

* If a woman is divorced, it is not necessarily due to shortcomings on her side. There is a good possibility that she was subject to some injustice and unfair treatment and that may give her more incentive to work to better the lot of other women in government.

* Do we look at a divorced man the same way we perceive a divorced woman? Or are we more lenient?

* What about male candidates who have more than one wife? What does that say about their domestic stability?

* Is it better to have a balanced single, divorced member of parliament or one who is unhappily married but sticking to the institution because of social protocol?

We need to be the change we want to see.

{Setting: A group of ladies at a gathering snacking on mixed nuts, chatting and watching TV. Listening to one conversation, while keeping track of another on another side of the room.}
A stout woman exclaims: Here it is! Here she is! The song I told you about.

Istaghfarallah where is the song?! She is just talking and writhing!

It’s just a show. She’s showing off her body.

{Laughs from a far end of the room}

{The sound of “chak chak” on the mixed nuts gets louder as mouths work faster, all eyes fixed on Mazzika screen}

What’s this? Istaghfarallah!

Haha, leave it! It’s a sight for sore eyes!

Oh! Just listen to her. If a woman says she is a sight for sore eyes, what do you think happens to men when they watch her??

What? I would watch and let him watch with me. It’s only a song for God’s sake. And she is beautiful to look at.

Harrump! She’s fake!

Yes, fake. She’s all put together. All beauty operations. She’s not natural.

{Shoulders shrug, more vigorous eating of nuts, mouths are salty and dry, and salivate more, and eyes are on the screen and on the door, lest any of their husbands come through}

Oweee…I’ve just finished praying, and I come to this.
{Pretty soon she is singing…Mat oulshi lhad! La la!}

Ah, she is beautiful.

Sure, she is gorgeous.

Look at those outfits.

Ha, lets change the channel.

No, lets enjoy ourselves; lets give our eyes a break.

Who are those  guys dancing with her? They look stupefied.

Of course! Look at what she is wearing my dear!

Oh, I love her purple outfit. I’m going to make one just like it!

Haha, you! Look at your body and look at hers! Hahaha

Outfits! Those are negligees! Baby dolls she is dancing in…

Disgusting.

Aah, I’d love to be sitting in that champagne glass like her and bathing.

Haha, ya and have it crack the moment you sit in it.

{They all watch till the end of the song, till the last credits are finished}

Haifa Wahby’s song: Matoulshi lhad (Don’t Tell Anyone)

You asked me once about my dreams and I told you I had none. I did not wish to share for in sharing they might evaporate. But you managed to weave into my heart . You sabotaged those dreams, the ones I did not know were there. Perhaps the ones I never acknowledged.

So I see you sit on that shore, Fabian. You sit and your eyes look beyond the blue line on the horizon. You don’t look for me anymore. You see only the line and it signifies a separation between water and sky. It is the way you perceive things, isn’t it?

But oh, Fabian, you do know that earth and horizon never meet; that horizon and water never touch although they may seem to. It is deception. It is an illusion darling. It is an infinite illusion. It is the way we are; we shall never be together even in the maddening way things might appear to you or to anyone else. It is the horizon; it is never ending. They never touch.

Perhaps I lied about those dreams. Perhaps I dreamt of meeting you, of riding on your back as you swim out to sea, of my head resting in your lap as you read to me line after line of emotions you spill forth onto paper that grows heavy with the weight of your transgressions.

Fabian of my dreams stay there on that contemplative shore. Stay there until you can no longer see the horizon, until night falls, and all boundaries are merged into one. Then perhaps we can close our eyes and find peace in dreamless slumber, no visions of great sea dragons or mesmerizing sirens to waylay us on our voyage.

There have been some interesting developments in Egypt with regards to women’s rights.

The proposed new laws concern the following:

1) Raising the legal age of marriage for girls to 18.

2) Female genital mutilation is a crime punishable by law (otherwise known as female circumcision)

3) And most controversial but thrilling of all, unwed mothers can register their newborn on their own and give the infant their own name. That means if a woman has a child out of wedlock, she can still legally register it as her own.

Arabic Link:

I know I should be keeping this link for a Sunday Fundays adventure  but I just couldn’t resist sharing the luxury of the Singapore Airlines Suites. Surely an excuse to travel.