Masturbation April 15, 2005
Posted by jewaira in Dear Jewaira, Sexuality.trackback
Dear Readers,
Our Dear Jewaira letter of the week is an issue that is generally not discussed as it is really just a private matter. However, our reader is interested in finding out the opinion of the other side on this very sensitive and private issue.Please feel free to comment bearing in mind readers' benefit. You've probably noticed the Anony option has been left on for awhile for your convenience.
Thanks
Jewaira
Dear Jewaira,
There’s an issue I’ve been wondering about lately: Masturbation.
What used to be a very awkward issue has now become fairly casual and common. The thing is that only applies to men.
Female masturbation is still a sensitive issue in our culture today. Why is that?
Do men try to avoid thinking about whether or not their significant others/girl friends masturbate?
I'd really like to know whether or not men think single women masturbate on a regular basis and whether they think it’s unethical or unorthodox in any way.
Thank You,
Curious
Other Dear Jewaira posts: Independence
Male masturbation is a given in our society, however, female masturbation isn’t even thought of. I think females are afraid of masturbating because they think it would de-virginize them. Also, women are thought of as creatures with no sexual desires, completely innocent until they are married. Personally, I don’t mind whether the woman masturbates or not, that is her personal choice and i respect it.
I am not a man,but it is perfectly natural for a woman to do this.Whether anyone admits it or not it is perfectly ok to do.It won’t make you blind or not a virgin and it just might allow a female to feel what she might not find in another person,an orgasm.
Men sometimes feel like if their woman does this then that means that they aren’t good enough of a lover.Or that if she does this she won’t do them.Both very silly ideas.Some men really enjoy watching and participating which can be a very good thing.All depends on the man.Now you know why this is an anonymous post!
I’m a single woman.
I have a vibrator.
I masturbate.
I’m happy.
Excuse my Naivety..
But isn’t Masturbation considered “haram” in Islam.. ? Or is someone messing with my head ? :S
NWMH even thinking about anything R-Rated is haram, or atleast according to my teacher. I wouldn’t think that doing something about it is ok.
Appearantly it’s ok if it stops you from doing the actual thing. Atleast that’s how it works with guys I think..
a Dr. told me once that he went with his son to harvard or other university with such calibre for the orientation day for starting his collage life …. he was amazed when the professor encouraged the new students to masturbate twice a week , for its good to the mental well being and steaming out stress ..
so every body go ahead and enjoy … not to gather though … in private pleaease .
but why to assume that ppl are not aware about this !! so why then to talk about it publicly ?!!
I think you’ve scared the guys away with this one!;) I know nothing about what men in your society think,if they are anything like men here are more than likely they just never thought to think about it?
Dear Not Without My Heels,
Masturbation is Øلال ولكن مكروه Ù?ÙŠ المذهب السني ÙˆØرام Ù?ÙŠ المذهب الشيعي. In fact, Shias use زواج المتعة as a relief for their sexual urges, because masturbation is so “evil”.
With all due respect, masturbation is a way of relieving these urges without going on a religiously-sanctioned fuckfest (this applies to both زواج المتعة وزواج المسيار) and risking getting pregnant or catching a STD!
There are women out there that are divorced, widowed, married to men with health problems like diabetes, or never been married and they all have urges that need to be satisfied one way or another, just like other human beings.
thank u anonymous for clearing that up! i was just havin this discussion with someone and they kept insisting that its 7aram.. where can i find credited info to back this though… like are there any internet sites or books or somethin?
Jewaira, why am I not surprised that this subject would come up sooner or later..
Anyway, Nothing to add really.. many view’s been said, I don’t think there is anything wrong with it ( male or female) or in any way unethical, but one thing though.. do not abuse it.. it might get addictive.. laugh all you want, but I know some guy that still masturbates in the bathroom while his wife is in the other room.. and when I ask him why.. he tells me it’s not the same thing.. hahahaha.. I guess it has a special sentimental value to him to milk the lizard as Desert gurl called it once.. hehehe.. and for the record, that same guy has been masturbating all his live, and was a virgin until the age of 30, he did it because of the twice a day spanking of the monkey & a large library of Porn movies, shesawee ba3ad Hehehehehe..
And Ladies, Masturbating doesn’t de-viginise.. Just thought you should know if you’re not experienced enough..
Believe it or not, the female orgasm and female ejaculation were unknown until relatively recently. Back in the 1800’s, if a woman was feeling horny, her husband would take her to the doctor so that he (yes, all doctors were men in those days) could treat what was in those days diagnosed as “hysterical tensionâ€?. Symptoms of this “conditionâ€? included irritability, a temperature and swollen pudenda. And guess how the doctors treated their female patients with this condition? They prescribed masturbation! But the poor lady was not allowed to do this herself (this was deemed to be unhealthy and would rot the mind!). Usually stimulation of the woman’s genitals to orgasm was performed by either a midwife at the doctor’s surgery or sometimes by the doctor himself. The husband and wife would then return back to their 19th century domestic bliss, that is, until the wife got horny again.
check this link for more:
http://www.annies-female-ejaculation.com/
actually Don, masturbation will claim a girls hymen, but not any type of masturbation. It all depends if the girl actually gets in there. A vaginal or g-spot orgasm will need penetration in most cases, while a clitoral orgasm, the weakest type of orgasm, doesn’t
maybe mastrubation for femals is not that pleasures like it is for males ..virgin girls really can’t be happy with only mastrubation ..
This is in my point of view
i am a single virgin girl and i hate matrubation because it makes me feel lonley and need more and more of a pleasur that is unreached with virgin mastrubation.
and to me its good that men mastrubate atleast it will keep them away from cheating on their ladies.
Don why do you always have wierd friends..
its good if he stayed virgin until age of 30 if he was riligious but not good to live on porn movie!! this is more sick than enjoying real sex.
virgin femals mastrubation sucks its gives no pleasur at all or just a little pleasur that is no t satisfing
Dear Jewaira, i have a question
and i am shy to visit my doctor on this issue and my husband is too.
i’ve been marrid for 3 years and my husband enjoys anal sex alot almost twice a week…i used to enjoy it
but not anymore it switched to feel bad and i started to hate him for it and he don’t really want to stop and sometimes i really want him to do it but i feel alot of pain now and cannot handle it ..
this feeling makes me feel an animal on top of me.
another thing is that besides of the pain ,,it seemed im having a very weak muscle over there and its embarresing me ..
i would love to know how can i not feel the pain?
and tighten my muscles up?
thank you
please help me im embarrased from the weak muscle alot
Anonymous 1 right after Deema, Yes.. I was talking about the clitoral orgasm, and not reaching the G-Spot with penetration.. you’re right, I should have specified more on that.. thanks for the heads up..
Anonymous number 3.. LOL.. shasawee… my luck.. I have seen lots of weirdoes and strange people in my life.. I’ve learned so much from them..
And that’s what I mean.. he’s addicted to masturbation, and I am trying to warn people not to get in to that stage of abusing it.. or they’ll turn like that guy.. He used to name all the porn stars (females), and runs to the store as soon as a new porn comes out with his favorite actress.. haahhaha.. and now, hides in the bathroom to do it.. as if he’s taking a shower.. and you have to know, it’s not that he doesn’t like women, I mean he fantasizes about them, it’s just the act that he couldn’t stop doing.. even while he’s married..
Dear Anonymous,
Concerning your question on Anal sex, have you checked out the discussion on that in the Back Entry post a while back?
I am sorry to hear about your problem. On the one hand it is good that you have shared this with our readers so that they can have a first hand account of the problems involved w anal sex.
On the other hand, I urge you to see a doctor as soon as possible before you do any further damage to yourself. Try to find a doctor who is discreet and who is reputable.
I understand that you are feeling embarrassed. But doctors have seen many different cases and are used to all illnesses. Don’t feel you are the only ones suffering from this.
I would strongly suggest that your husband go to the doctor with you. However, if he is reluctant, then by all means see about this yourself with further delay. Please do not put this off any more as by your description it seems you need immediate medical attention.
Keep me updated on how you are doing. Wishing you the best
Thank you all for your input into this discussion.
So far you have touched upon:
1) whether or not masturbation itself is acceptable or not in Islam;
2) you have talked about whether masturbating will damage a virgin girl’s hymen,
3) and you have discussed the negative results of becoming addicted to masturbation.
4) Some of you have expressed satisfaction with the idea while others find it unfulfilling and lonely
A couple or so have voiced their opinion on the reader’s question who wants to know what males think of female masturbation.
This is not an easy topic to discuss whatever your background, as Christina has already pointed out.
It is a private matter and really no one’s business but your own.
But we have all been pretty much exposed to the idea of men masturbating; to the point that some of you have even condoned it as a good thing to stop promiscuity (which I doubt).
But at the same time, female masturbation is not widely discussed nor accepted as there are alot of fears and misconceptions surrounding this issue that touch upon beliefs, traditions, etc…
How old was the person who sent this question?
I hope she’s not over 13.
Deema, That was Unreal dude!
One of my favourite sites is Go Ask Alice. I would like to quote the answer to a question on masturbation, in particular related to females:
“Several reasons have been suggested to account for the lower percentage of women (vs. men) who have ever masturbated. Women are considered “good” when they adhere to their traditional sex role: to be sexually passive, naive, and dependent — basically, to be nonsexual. Sexually experienced and independent women are frequently seen as threatening and “loose.”
In addition, in many cultures, women are raised to believe that their genitals are repulsive and inferior to those of men. They’re also encouraged to repress their sexual feelings until marriage, when sex is for the purposes of procreation and pleasing their husband. A woman learns that she is to receive sexual pleasure only from sexual intercourse (not from touching or oral sex, and especially not from masturbation) with her husband (not with anyone else or by herself). If a woman with a partner masturbates, it is often seen as though there’s something wrong with her relationship. Likewise, if a woman is without a partner, masturbating is seen as an act of loneliness.
Not only is there a taboo for women to masturbate, but there’s also a greater taboo against talking about it. No doubt, for some women (and some men), talking about sex can also be awkward, so shyness, as you mentioned in your question, may be another, though lesser, factor. It doesn’t have to be this way. Masturbation is a healthy and natural part of sexuality. It enables people to learn about their own bodies and genitals as well as to recognize and develop their sexual responses or orgasms. It also helps to foster communication in intimate relationships by making it easier for partners to identify and express what feels good physically and sexually for them and to each other. Candid discussions about sexuality and sexual pleasure can help free women (and men) from the historically negative influences that have bound and prevented some women (and some men) from discovering, exploring, and enjoying their sexual selves.
These conversations can make it easier to break the taboos and myths about masturbation and can encourage women (and men) to reach their healthy, sex-positive goals.”
FROM:
http://www.goaskalice.columbia.edu/1568.html
Hi,
Actually Anonymous …
In the Sinni math.hab .. it is 7aram or haram to masturbate
Its also haram to have anal sex, Islam made it haram. Its for the best. Recent science proves why.
The muscle u talked about wont get tighter, it will take some time to fix.
It is VERY damagin … anal sex that is to a woman, and infectious for a man.
Thats one reason why its haram.
i am very fond of this .>>>>>> this is me ammar from sudan >
one day i write to U
Masturbation for male or femlae is a totally natural thing for me, why else would those areas be so sensitive and stimulative, not just for sex surely.
I will normally ask my g/f (when I have one) if she flicks her bean (sorry if this phrase offends) If she says no I ask why not, nothing wrong with it and it is a good way to release tension, you feel in a state of euphoria after sex no? (well if you both have chemistry you will) So masturbation does the same only slightly different.
If you believe that great badness will come to you from doing it then don’t do it, if you want to do it and do not fear such said repercussions then flick and stroke away I say!
Thanks Gregorious for the input
I do it to release sexual tension, as i can’t get laid , and i don’t want to get laid other then with my wife.
Yes Islam does forbid masturbation, but if you fear falling into sex before marriage , you can either fast, or grow your pubes so much that you don’t see your Area 69, depending upon who you are
. Or masturbate, which is a lesser evil then zina.
Go figure.
Grow your pubes so you can’t see area 69???
How the hell do you make your pubes grow that long???
Why the hell would you want to do that???
speaking of. those are some pretty hot turkish wrestlers. nice pics jewaira
Lol! Yes they are quite handsome aren’t they?
Funny what brought you all the way back to this post!!!
Hmmmm is it the faces you ladies are looking at or the ironing board stomachs???
Very sweet faces, Gregorious, and attractive bodies as well.
But you don’t really see their faces, and how is resting your head on someones groin wrestling?
I don’t know what the world’s coming too, has it all gone mad?……….oh yes so it has.
Its better then getting laid unmarried , then getting STD and then crying or dying in pain.
I don’t mind if a woman does it or not, its her choice.
Gregorious
Turkish oil wrestling is a very old sport.
Check out this site here: Turkish Wrestling Homepage
I am sure there are other informative sites as well.
MY GOD!
I LOVED the comments!
and growing your pubes so you won’t see them! what are you talking about Imran!! are you for REAL!???? That’s totally ugly! are you suggesting braids too? LOL
I believe and know that masturbating for women is not allowed, and not known to be discussed in public at all. I’ve never met a girl in Jeddah, who said that she masturbates, & who is even willing to talk about it. I mean so far I can see the girl saying that she’s going out on a date, but she wouldn’t discuss masturbating for instance.
Good post Jewaira
Cheers
Oh hang on!
I believe that masturbating for women is not allowed. That wasn’t phrased right.
I meant = I believe that it’s not allowed HERE in KSA!
That sounds better!
Lol Mystique
I am glad we are all having this ” private” conversation on this old post !
is masturbating for men allowed in KSA?
To be honest, I don’t understand what the big fuss is about concerning female masturbation. Men masturbate, Women masturbate, People masturbate, Dogs prob masturbate and all, and so on & so forth, the list is endless really
Some people like to talk about it, some people don’t.
What’s the big deal?
what’s KSA? if they don’t allow male (or female) masturbation i don’t want to go there.
btw, imran who said “Its better then getting laid unmarried , then getting STD and then crying or dying in pain.” sometimes it’s better than getting laid, married or unmarried. no matter how much sex i’m having, i have to have some good alone time too.
KSA? Kingdom of err S____ Arabia?
I’m not sure what the S stands for, open to interpretation I think, depending on whether you like the country or not???
Just kidding folks, it’s the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia right, if I ain’t mistaken
.
Oh dunno how I managed to omit this, but, children masturbate as well ( Those of you who reading this who did when you were younger, no need to worry coz apparently, it’s alrite
). Yup, that’s right, and NO am not a paedo.
Check this out,
http://www.med.umich.edu/1libr/pa/pa_bmasturb_hhg.htm
Pediatric Advisor 2006.2: Masturbation in Preschoolers
Interesting article Pseudo Random and masturbate is a big word that has some negative connotations especially when related to children. One may get the wrong idea.
I do agree that some children find pleasure in their body and this should not be considered evil or unnatural. However, I would also read carefully the end of the article for behaviour that is not normal either.
heyyyyyyyyyy I’m not saying it, the experts are
Interesting article indeed, because we studied that in class .. And I thought, is that true?
I think it should be normal since children are curious creatures and tend to explore .. so i think it’s just a matter of curiosity and exploration of feelings and body reactions ..
p.s: I’m cruising around your blog.. this is my first time, and I enjoy Ø§Ù„Ø·Ø±Ø Ø§Ù„Ø¬Ø±ÙŠØ¡
seriously .. way to go : )
Deeema, thanks for the link! Two thumbs up!
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That was a great site and I think we should do a post sometime on female ejaculation and see where it takes us
Jewaira